Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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