She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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