Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
