i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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