so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
