handjob tips. give me some.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She's the barista slut.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
