I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
