Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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