how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
