Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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