i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
