It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
