I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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