just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
