He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
