Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
