dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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