Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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