My balls are so social today.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
