also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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