Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
