I'm lost and stupid without you.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think my moral compass just broke
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
