Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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