but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
