toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They have beer where we have blood.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
