i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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