So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
