The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize