16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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