no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
