What a fucking waste of an outfit
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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