So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
