I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
