Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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