it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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