My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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