im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
