i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
