At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
