You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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