you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
