nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
