dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
