i think i have herpe
just one?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You took a bar mat shot.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
