Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
