She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
