she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
