Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dignity is for republicans.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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