I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
