Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
