dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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