he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
