I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize