I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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