I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
