Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
