You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
