Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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