Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
