PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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