Barsexuality is the new black.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
