dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize