she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
