I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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