just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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